A Self-Claimed Neurotic

My parents are coming to bring rations to me today and to take me out to lunch (to discuss taxes, no doubt), so I'll keep this brief. This week was nondescript; some highs and some lows. Valentine's Day was mediocre, but the night kicked off with a party at Clara's place. A bunch of people I work with turned up -- Heath, Shani & Ben, Jeremy, Bob, Mike (clara's geologist boyfriend), Sarah, and Scott. We drank prosecco, ate confetti cake and played group games. Clara split us off into couples and we had to write a personal ad for our other half in the vein of those weird people (I say this now, in 2 year's time, don't be surprised if you see an ad for "lively south asian to rock your socks off") on craigslist. Some were dull, some sincere and touching, some just absurd. We had to perform the piece that we wrote for our partner. This is what Clara said about yours truly:

"Exquisitely elegant femme dramatique seeks a lover equal in quality only to the finest novel of vellum pages and pungent prose. I have wit, style, and metaphor enough for two, so what I need from you I'll tell you true:
1. I dislike walking in the rain and need bimonthly trips to Marshalls
2. The finest taste in film and music - I used to slum around with Fox TV but that time has gone
3. Appreciation of beauty true and strong

We later went to the Ivy, where I once again became a total idiot. This place brings out my worst tendencies to be
a) insulting
b) lewd
c) suggestive - and this, bizarrely, is the most destructive

I'm watching "Manhattan" right now; a movie that I truly love. The Gershwin! the scenic shots! the ridiculous one-liners, the romance and pathos. I enjoy Woody Allen tremendously, and I'm glad he makes me fall in love over and over with New York. Not that it's the kind of place you forget. I guess what I'm saying is that I think we're very similar. Our personal ads would say something along the lines of: "short, liberal jewish lover seeking partner in perverse bed-crimes. Awkward mannerisms and conversations on castration a must. I'll take you out for meatballs and mesmerize you with my think-rimmed glasses, baby. Don't be fooled by my diminutive stature; I'll be your Dionysus." Irresistible, no?