Lose Control, Gain Command

I have news!! I'm getting a new apple!

After moping uselessly at home and lamenting the fact that I had to stay late to write emails or blog, I did a bunch of research on macs, and finally decided to take the plunge. I looked into all the statistics, spoke to a guy from our tech support team at work about what kind of RAM and hard drive space I'd need, and religiously followed updates from the recent Apple expo thing in San Francisco. By the time I got into the apple store in Soho, I was prepared with a long, highlighted list of technical specifications I needed and questions I wanted to ask. Yes, I am a micro-manager (see, office life has paid off -- I'm expanding my vocabulary).

The apple store is a palace of wonder, and I say this in the same vein as Mugatu describing the center for ants to Derek i.e. with bulging eyes and a breathy voice. All the shiny objects, the coldplay in the background, trendy people poking gently at white keyboards... Plus it helped that the guy I spoke to was friendly, helpful, not pushy, and generally charming and cute. Yup, I lusted after the apple tech guy. The nicest thing about him was that he didn't suggest that I buy the most expensive equipment out there, and even steered me away from making too many upgrades in hardware and software. If my sister hadn't been hovering protectively in the background, I may well have confessed my adoration and thereby created another one of those 'why am I an inept git?' moments to rue for the rest of my days.

Anyway, I'm now going to have a shiny new laptop just for me, me, me. Plus I have the 3 year protection plan, which is about as comforting as having a terrific sexual partner and a 3 year pregnancy/STD-free guarantee. It's the beginning of a long and beautiful friendship.

So, I'd like to announce that as of sometime next week, I will once again be a functioning member of society. I'll fail to respond to friends' emails, be too lazy to blog, and forget to read the news online -- but at least you and I will know that it's because I won't rather than because I can't. And that's a carefully developed distinction I like to maintain.